Why, yes! We are planning a home water birth.

I've had a few people ask about it and I thought I would go ahead and put it out there.

Part of me really hates to write this. I mean, people don't go around saying "Hey guess what? I'm giving birth in a hospital!" It's normal. I think home birth should be too and I really don't want it to be a big deal. Because it isn't. It's normal.

This is not a decision that I came to superficially or over night. For 2 YEARS now I have been doing research and reading birth stories and without a shadow of a doubt I know this is the best thing for my baby and myself.

Right after Victor's birth I began reading and doing more research on birth. Honestly, it was within just a couple of months that I knew I wanted a home birth next time. The induction that shouldn't have happened in the first place, being told I was NOT allowed to get up and walk around, mandatory external and internal fetal monitors, the doc who broke my water without telling me and then proceeded to tell me I'd never be able to do it and he'd be doing a c-section, then the epidural I went ahead and got because he said I'd need it one way or the other (and totally pissed me off) THEN that epidural didn't even work during most of my labor anyway, the episiotomy that he gave me on BOTH sides because supposedly I was starting to tear (so what?) and afterwards when he admitted to me that had he known I was going to have a basically 9lb baby he never would have let me labor so long cause he would have recommended a c-section. Then afterwards when I was so swollen and engorged from all the fluid they pumped through my IV and my back hurt soooo bad from the epidural I couldn't even get off the bed by myself ( thank GOD Matt was able to stay with me, I have NO idea how I would have taken care of Victor that night without him) and could barely walk for the next several days.

I know most of you are thinking, "well, that sounds like a typical birth to me.." you know IV, in bed, monitors, pitocin..... But isn't that sad? Shouldn't we expect better than that? Shouldn't we want to be able to walk and change positions? eat and drink as we need to? His birth wasn't terrible, it was a fairly typical hospital birth and Victor was perfectly healthy. I just want something better this time. I don't want typical, I want normal, ecstatic, extraordinary...

Roughly 93-95% of women are considered low-risk in pregnancy and if left ALONE to gestate and labor normally can do so perfectly fine WITHOUT medical intervention. For 7-5% of women medical intervention is absolutely necessary and saves lives, mommas and babies. The problem is, our c-section rate in this country hovers around 30%.... WHY?

I'm gonna go ahead and throw in here: I am NOT trying to convince anybody that this way is better. I truly don't believe it is better for everybody. I simply believe this way is better for US and want to explain the information I have and how I came to this place. I think that everyone makes the best decision for their own situation and as long as you are happy with your particular situation, then I am SOOO thrilled and happy for you.

A little timeline for you. In the 1800s women were giving birth in the street rather than go to a hospital because of the fear of childbed fever. Early 1900s they finally started to recognize bacteriology and applied measures to stop spreading germs (you know, like washing your hands?). In 1914 "twilight" sleep was introduced in America. This is where they would sedate you will your cervix dilated, then give you more ether while "pushing", cut a huge episiotomy and use forceps to extract baby. Sounds nice, huh?

In 1920 Dr. Joseph DeLee became the proponent of this movement in maternity care and made it his mission to save women from the "evils" of childbirth. In 1935 a mere 37% of all births occurred in hospitals. By 1940, only about 50% of women were birthing in hospitals. It wasn't until 1950 that the majority of births (about 88%) were occurring in hospitals.

It's only been the past 60 or so years that most births even took place in hospitals!! And did you know that the CDC says that the maternal death rate is the highest now that it's been in decades? Wow. Connection? Maybe, more research is really needed to find out why. They speculate that the rising number of c-sections may have something to do with it, plus poor nutrition, the high rate of obesity as well. I personally believe that there is TOO MUCH medical intervention and not enough believing in our own ability to birth babies the way God or nature (however you believe) intended.

Oh boy this is getting waaay longer than I thought.....Kudos if you're still with me!

Anyway, I have the most amazing team of midwives. From the very first time I met with them I felt like I'd known them for years. They hugged me and we talked and they shared my outrage at the things the other doc had said to me at Victor's birth about not being able to do it. The lead midwife has a Master's degree in nursing and worked in a hospital based practice for years before deciding she couldn't take it anymore and switched to her private home based care practice. Since then she has attended more than 200 births. The second midwife is a certified professional midwife and there is also a midwife-in-training working with them. All are certified in neonatal resuscitation and CPR. I feel incredibly safe with these women and I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that this is the BEST decision for us. And yes, for those that worry, she maintains a collaborative agreement with a local OB/GYN in case the need for medical care arises. The hospital is only 7 minutes away and their "decision to incision" time (should the need truly arise) is less than or the same as if I were actually in a hospital already.

I remember with my OB I'd see the nurse for a few minutes and then wait for the doc who I'd see for, like, 5-10 minutes, and then leave. My appts with my midwives usually last about an hour or more. And they've come to my home several times already. We talk and laugh and tell stories and they really spend time with me and know me and I know them. I could NOT ask for better care from anyone. Any time I've had a question or concern I call and talk directly to one of the midwives, no nurse or any go-between. It's lovely. It also helps that I'm super healthy. Better even than with Victor. I've only gained about 14lbs, my blood sugar is great, my blood pressure is nice and low. We walk every day. I attribute a lot of this to being in such great hands with my care givers.

Some serious Pros to home birth:

1. I'm in my own home. Total comfort. I dont' have to go anywhere, or worry about when to leave. The midwife comes to me.

2. I can eat or drink as I need to

3. No IV, No stuck in bed, no monitors

4. I can move around, walk, change positions however my body tells me I need to.

5. I'm gonna have a big birthing pool set up in the dining room and I can get in the nice hot water when I want and even give birth in there (which i intend to do).

6. Victor doesn't have to leave me. My mom will be here the week or so before my due date and will be able to take care of him while I'm in labor. My next door neighbor (who is an angel) will be able to take them in her home if Victor needs to be somewhere else. I figure the most he'll be away from us is a couple of hours. He and my mom can meet little Cadie within minutes of her being born.

6. The midwives handle all the newborn care, just as if we were in a hospital. They handle APGAR scores, any tests, bathing etc. Granted there are several procedures we will be declining but still, anything a hospital can do for a newborn (besides actual NICU) they can provide in my home.

7. The midwives carry oxygen, pitocin, IVs, saline all kinds of medical supplies. Basically they carry a portable birth center with them so they can manage anything that may arise.

One thing I noticed people say about natural childbirth "just get the epidural, it's not like you're gonna get a medal afterwards..." It's not about that. Or anywhere close. I believe in the power of my body to do this. I want to fully experience the birth of my baby as it was intended, as women have been doing for thousands of years. I want the joy of feeling my baby moving through my body and being an active participant, not just a passive observer while someone else takes charge. No. I will be in charge. My baby and my body, we will do this together.

Someone out there is still thinking "holy crap, she's crazy." That's ok. You don't have to agree with me. You do what's best for you and I'll do what's best for me, that's all we can do.

my little artist.

Yes that is my leg (ha!) And that is the person that Victor drew on me. Body, arms, legs, circle (head), eyes, nose, mouth and a squiggle up top for hair. He started doing this months ago and they are already significantly better than they started out. Within the past 9 months they went from big blob bodies to this more streamlined version you see here. He's done better ones on paper but this was just the only one I had a picture of! My sister-in-law was telling me how advanced that was, but I didn't really think anything of it till I looked it up myself. Apparently at 2 most kids are just starting to draw circles and blobby people don't typically emerge till 3ish. So right now his skills on this level are between 3-4 year age range. He also knows most of his colors and shapes. He can count things up to 10. This morning I was pouring pancakes on the griddle and he counts, "1,2,3,4,5 cakes! cirks mom cirks! (circles)" He will count the stairs as he goes up "1,2,3.." up to 10, then come back down "10,9,8..." back down to 1. He pretty much amazes me on a daily basis.

Oh and funny thing!! He's been doing "flips" (somersaults) for awhile, but he would put his head down and kind of fall over sideways (hilarious, btw). But within the past couple of weeks he has actually started to roll head over heels and he can do it at will now. We tell him "do a flip!" and he puts his head down and flips right over, then stands up and claps for himself, so cute! The other day he started doing flips, and was counting while he did it. Flip (1!) flip (2!) flip ("3! 3 flips! yay!!")

I love this age, he learns something new every day and basically blows me away. I'd love to get him into a Montessori preschool program next year, but unfortunately we can't afford nearly $3000 a year for that!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Matt and Slappy say "Hi!" Happy Thanksgiving to all, I hope everyone has a wonderful day!!

My little boy

almost a year ago, last January... still so much a baby! And now...

He's really my little boy!! Look how much he's changed....

I feel bad that I don't post many pictures of him anymore, but our camera was broken. Every time we tried to turn it on it would say Lens Error and shut back off :-/ pretty sure that was my fault for letting Victor play with it.... So I figured since it was already broken there was no harm in letting him still play with it. Apparently he fixed it!! He handed it to me last night and said, "mommy mommy! CHEESE!!" I went to take his picture and Whoa! It actually worked!! Cool! So expect more pictures from now on :-)

Love his "Cheese!" face! I think I have the most beautiful little boy... but doesn't everyone? *wink*
**edited to add** I meant, doesn't everyone think their OWN kids are the most beautiful, lol, not that you all think my kid is :-P

There are 50 states...

See how West Virginia is NEXT to Virginia? Yes, it really is its own separate state!

I can't tell you how many people I've seen, back home or just out-of-state that say

"oh how do you like Virginia?"

and I say "Well, Virginia is ok, but I live in WEST Virginia."

"Oh... Isn't that just western Virginia?"

"No. No it's not."

It's a state people. I promise.

26 week midwife appointment

There is the obligatory belly shot. 26 weeks and I'm actually measuring at 28 weeks. Of course I've also gained 8 lbs in the past 5 weeks since my last appt, so my midwife was not surprised, she said a mid-late 2nd trimester growth spurt is very common. Plus it brings my total weight gain up to 12 lbs so far, so really it's not that bad. I figure even if I gain 1 lb a week for the next 14 weeks it puts me up to 26lbs, which is normal. Granted it's more than I'd like, but still only HALF of what I gained with Victor, so I'll be thrilled.

They also checked my blood sugar at this visit. One of the great things about midwives is that I don't have to drink that nasty sugar stuff and have them draw a billion vials of blood. I just fasted for 8 hours before the appt and she pricked my finger to check it on a monitor. They like it to be below 95 and mine was 97, so just slightly elevated. They are checking me again in 2 weeks (they would be checking me again no matter what) this time 2 hours after I eat. If still just slightly elevated they'll probably just give me a monitor so I can check it on a regular basis to get a better baseline of what's really going on but I wouldn't be sent to a specialist or labeled GD or anything.

Cadie was actually head down this time, which I knew from where she was kicking me, and I certainly don't expect her to stay that way yet. She's still my little hurricane! Did I mention that this was a home visit? Yes, my midwives came to see me :-) I love them. So I was afraid that Victor was going to freak out with them touching me, he doesn't really like that. When they checked our iron at our WIC appt 2 weeks ago, he was more upset about them pricking my finger than he was about them sticking his. So yes, I was afraid he wouldn't handle it well and had my neighbor on stand by in case I needed her to watch him. Thanks to a fluke where Victor was up for an hour and a half in the middle of the night, he actually slept through most of the appt. He woke up just while she was measuring my belly. He came down with Matt just as she was starting to find Cadie's heartbeat. For just a second we thought he was going to cry, but then we were telling him that "it's Cadie's heartbeat, it's your sister! Doesn't it sound like a train?" and he just sat there watching with a slightly perplexed look on his face. So cute though, I had to look away from him because I kept laughing!

I see them every 2 weeks now! Crazy!

And so I shall leave you with these:

Victor was watching Toy Story, so he lined up his cars and told them "Sit! watch!"

Yep. that's Victor wearing my red heels. He walks pretty well in them. Love him :-)

Hear me roar!

This. A thousand times this.

I remember getting my first three little stripes with Victor. I was putting lotion on in front of the mirror and happened to see them on the underside of my belly. I cried. I had stretch marks just from going through puberty so I knew I was probably going to get them, but still... I cried. Eventually I ended up with them pretty much everywhere. One day I had 3, the next the were everywhere, or so it seemed.

This time, I don't care. First of all, they are already there. For 2 years now we've gotten to know each other, they are simply a part of me. Secondly, I've come to see them as evidence of what my body is capable of. I grew a HUMAN BEING in my womb! How cool is that?!?

So bring 'em on!!

Trick or Treat!

Victor had soo much fun! Until he got cold anyway. Then he was a screaming tantrum throwing little stinker (though I can't blame him, he hadn't had a nap either). But I digress. I originally wanted to make him a costume like this:

The main component of this costume is an oversize red sweatshirt with it's arms cut off. BUT, did you know that it's apparently IMPOSSIBLE to find a plain, red sweatshirt anywhere?!?! I mean seriously, it's such a basic thing I honestly did not think it would be an issue. yea, it was. So i kind of had to go a different direction:

He's my "Handsome Lil' Devil". Red turtleneck, red sweater vest, red boots, tail (that you can't see, but I think that was my favorite part), horns ("hat!") and scepter ("stick!"). I still think he looked adorable, but still wish I could have made the other one work. Maybe next year when I have a 3 year old and 8 month old (*faint!*) I'll try to plan a little better in advance.

Once I finally got him dressed and handed him his bucket, I tried to explain what was going to happen. He was really excited and dying to go outside. Even though we were waiting for the neighbors we went ahead outside for him to run around a bit. He kept yelling "Tri! Tree!" and running up and down the sidewalk. One of the neighbors tried to give him some candy but he freaked and ran back to me, haha! At least he knows he shouldn't take candy from strangers! I tried to explain to him that it was ok this time because it was Halloween. Once the neighbors came out and we were all ready, he got to watch Andrew (almost 4 y/o) and picked up on the idea real quick.

He had SOO much fun running from house to house!! It was kind of cold, and once it got dark it got much colder pretty quick. We were out for about an hour and a half and only made it around 3ish blocks? He was pooped and so cold by the time we called it quits and headed back. He climbed up in the stroller and I pulled his sweater over his head. That made him soo mad!! But he was so cold he wasn't moving his hands anymore :-) so I made the executive decision that he was going to wear the darn sweater for the 3 blocks it took us to get home.

He threw a tantrum of course, he wanted me to carry him, partly because I could help keep him warm, but I just can't carry him like that now. Once we got him home and he sat on the couch and warmed up, he was fine. We'd had dinner before going out so he got to eat a few pieces of candy and Matt and I freely pillaged his candy as well, Ha! Shortly thereafter we did bath and then he pretty well passed out for the night. I wish we could trick or treat every night so he'll always sleep that well, HA!

Happy Halloween everyone! I hope you all had great nights!

P.S. I didn't think that trick or treating for 3 blocks would be that physically tiring, but I am sore this morning! I guess I'm just THAT out of shape right now, ugh!