**Disclaimer** This is a birth story, that means you're about to read the whole story about me giving birth. I realize that sounds redundant, but I just want to make sure that if you're a guy who really doesn't want to hear the details or are maybe kind of squeamish, that you maybe shouldn't continue. I also have photos with the story, I won't be posting any graphic ones of course, but still, be expecting beautiful photos. Oh yeah, and it's loooong. Like, the longest post you've ever read. Enjoy! **
And a quick note about the photography. All images are copyright of Lasting Memories Photography. Jennifer Miller is a local photographer here in the Charleston, WV area. This was her first birth photography experience which she did pro-bono in exchange for the experience and portfolio building opportunity. She did an AMAZING job and I highly recommend her. She also does newborn, maternity and family pictures. Look her up on Facebook at Lasting Memories Photography!!
The Day Before
Friday, February 24th, 41 weeks and 3 days pregnant:
I spent the day talking to my midwives on and off trying to figure out the best time and place for me to get an ultrasound and Non Stress Test done. We finally decided that they'd get an ultrasound tech to come to Angy's (the main midwife) house the next day and do both tests there at her home office. This was definitely the better plan because the other option was to travel to a hospital an hour away and spend nearly $600 on these tests. We are very thankful that we had the option to go to Angy's office.
Later that evening I was talking to Dorothy, (my other midwife) and she and Pia (the apprentice midwife) set me up for a massage the next day from one of the ladies Pia works with at The Folded Leaf yoga studio. I spent the rest of the evening telling people to be ready for the next day because I totally intended to go into labor.
Day of Labor
Saturday, February 25, 41 weeks and 4 days pregnant:
I actually woke up up around 330am with a couple contractions and excitedly thought to myself, "maybe this is it!" Then they went away and I went back to sleep, thank goodness. Got up for real at 7:30am and had to get ready for the day. We needed to leave by 8:30 to get Matt to work by 9 so I could be back at Angy's by 9:30am. Finally got Matt up and going (he is SO hard to wake up!) and we got on the road just in time. Oh yes, and I gave my mom the monitor (Victor was still sleeping) so when he woke up she could get him.
On the way to Matt's work, just after 9am, I had a contraction. Not super intense, but enough that I was uncomfortable sitting in the car and I just breathed through it. As we pulled up in front of his store I had another one. I looked at the clock and took note of the fact that it was 6 minutes from the last one. Got out of the car, walked around to driver's side and got in (after kissing Matt goodbye and everything of course and warning him that I was going into labor). Driving away I felt another contraction, again exactly 6 minutes from the last and it was at this point that I knew I was starting early labor. It will probably sound silly, but the fact that I had gotten up and walked around the car and my contractions had stayed consistent... I just knew this was going to be my day. FINALLY.
Driving all the way back through town to Angy's my contractions kept coming at 6 minutes the whole time and kept up when I got there and was walking around her house. We started the ultrasound and the tech determined my fluid level was around 5.5. Anything under 5 we considered low, so it was definitely borderline. After that was done they got a call from another client and Dorothy had to head to another birth and Pia went with her. So just Angy and I finished up and set up for the NST. For those who don't know, it just measures the baby's heartbeat and they look for a certain amount of variability and accelerations in heart rate. Cadie was sleeping at first so we weren't getting much, but we woke her up and then got some good stuff. I also kept having contractions, which was actually great because then Angy got to see Cadie's heartrate during contractions too. She actually had a couple accelerations during contractions, which is fantastic, so she definitely passed her NST with flying colors.
Previously we had discussed trying to strip my membranes and see if that would help start anything, but before now I had declined. Today though, I was only 3 days away from that 42 week mark and with borderline fluid levels I thought it might be better to try something to naturally help things along. However, I'd been having consistent contractions for a couple hours now and I knew I was already in early labor. Angy checked me and I was at 3cms, my previous check I was a 2 so we knew things were changing but it was still early. With Dorothy and Pia at another birth Angy didn't want to strip my membranes and possibly send me into active labor quicker and then not have the full birth team available, which I totally agreed with.
As I was leaving she said something about not having any plans that day and I said, "Yes you do, you have me!"
I then headed out to go pick up Matt and head to my massage. Originally I had planned to pick up my mom and Victor on the way downtown but everything at Angy's had taken just a bit longer than I had originally planned. My mom said they were doing just fine there at the house so I headed to get Matt by myself. Contractions continue throughout 6 minutes apart. Contractions are NOT fun while in the car and less so when you are actually driving because you can't concentrate on them the way you really need to.
I picked Matt up and we head up Bridge Road to The Folded Leaf for my massage at noon. The woman giving my massage was wonderful. She knew I was overdue and I told her I was in early labor and so she spent a lot of time on my feet and massaging my ankles trying to get those good pressure points. Every time I had a contraction I'd just breathe.... it felt great to have her massaging me during them.
Afterwards, Matt picked me back up and since I'd been craving indian food for weeks, we decided to go place a to-go order at Little India before heading home. While we waited we went down the street to Second Seating to see if they had anything awesome in. We'd been looking for a dresser for Cadie for awhile with no luck. And they had one! With a matching cabinet-type piece that would have been perfect for me too. We very nearly bought them but knew we didn't have any way to get them home so we decided to wait. During this time my contractions started to feel closer together, probably because we were up walking around. I texted my photographer and my neighbor (backup Victor care) to let them know today was the day and Angy too, just to keep her up to date. Then we finally headed home.
It was about 3pm by the time we got home and I was sooo happy to be home and not in the car anymore! I had my Chicken Biryani, my hummus and naan bread and started chowing down. I'd eat a couple bites, chug some water and then stand up, lean over the little half wall in our dining room and breathe/sway through a contraction. We were using the Contraction Master website to time them, they were consistently 5-6 minutes apart and about a minute long.
Right around 4pm Matt, my mom and Victor left to go to Wal*Mart. My mom needed to get a prescription filled and I wanted Matt to go ahead and get fruits and snacks and stuff to feed the midwives with whenever they got there. I was actually glad they were all leaving for a bit because I wanted to try and lay down to rest for awhile. So they left and I went upstairs to lay in bed. I turned on my Hypnobirthing CD, the birthing affirmations track. Basically it's positive statements about birth to help you relax and visualize things working properly. Things like, "I trust my body knows exactly what it's doing" "I welcome each surge as they help bring my baby into this world" etc. It's very relaxing to listen too. Though I will admit that the rest of the Hypnobirthing stuff, the other visualization techniques, never did anything for me. So I listened to positive, calming statements about birth and dozed on and off for about 2 hours.
Just before Matt and my mom got home I had a couple contractions in a row that made me roll to my knees to breathe through them. It was about 6pm now and I heard everyone get home. Since I figured my resting time was over I headed downstairs to join them. We all sat around watching TV and playing with Victor and I'd sink to the floor and lean over the couch every 5 minutes or so to breathe with my increasingly intense contractions. I kept drinking water and getting up to go to the bathroom. I had noticed that when I got up to go pee my contractions would go from 5 minutes apart to about 2-3 minutes apart. And they were definitely harder to deal with on the toilet! Eventually I brought the birthing ball into the living room and had a chair in front of it so I could sit on the ball and lean over the back of the chair. I started texting Angy again, letting her know things were starting to pick up a bit, same with Jennifer (the photographer).
About 7:45pm Angy called me, we'd been texting back and forth and she said she wanted to hear my voice. She asked if I was wanting some company and I said yes. I hesitated for just a second because I didn't want to call them in too early and have them sitting around forever. But I knew I was needing some support. I got off the phone and told Matt Angy was on her way so he went into labor mode. Started cleaning off the kitchen table so he could put it outside. Our dining room is not big enough to hold both table and the pool. So, table got put out the back door and he got the pool out ready to set up. He was waiting for Angy because he wanted to make sure he did it right.
Angy got here about 8:30pm. She asked if I wanted her to check me. I did, but didn't really want to move. I knew as soon as I got up they would get closer together again. I got up anyway because we kind of needed to see where I was at and gauge whether she needed to call Pia away from the other birth or not. Sure enough as soon as I got upstairs to the bedroom contraction hit. Then I tried to get on the bed and another one hit. When it was over I quickly laid down so she could check me before the next one hit. 5 cms. Officially active labor (duh). Another contraction hit. Angy told me that at this point they tend to expect 1-2 cms an hour and then a couple hours of pushing is pretty common, so it could be a few more hours or not till after midnight.
Some people might have been discouraged by that, thinking they could still have hours to go, but what I said to Angy was, "that's ok, I can do anything for a couple of hours, one minute at a time." At that point, after being nearly 42 weeks pregnant, the end was in sight! And I was halfway there, a couple of hours at that point was nothing!
And let's talk about contractions for a minute. I don't like to use the word "pain" to describe the sensation, it's just so unlike the type of pain most people experience. It's not like you stubbed your toe and spend a minute on the floor cussing with shooting pain. It's pressure. For me it would start with a little wave that felt just like a menstral cramp and it would just overtake me as my whole stomach got tight and it would roll through my hips... It's not real pain how you would normally define it. It's pressure, it's intense, it's overwhelming.... the beauty of it? It lasts a minute or a minute and a half and then it's gone. No residual throb.. nothing, gone. It comes and it goes completely so you can rest for the next one. It's really a beautiful thing.
(me in 'laborland' resting between contractions. Don't I look peaceful?)
At this point things got really intense and a little fuzzy. I came downstairs, shared the news that I was 5cms and got back on my birthing ball. Sent Jennifer a text telling her it was time. Angy called Dorothy and Pia, found out that their birth had taken place so Pia headed over to me while Dorothy finished up with the postpartum care. Matt was setting up the pool and I just remember after every contraction I'd look up and assess the water level wondering when I could get in. After what felt like just 5 minutes and forever all at the same time, I got in the tub. I think it was probably just after 9pm.
(Matt was amazing through all of this, he was right by me the whole time, with water or something to eat or ice, putting pressure on my back... anything. And I never even had to ask. I love him so much.)
And the water... oh wow. I can NOT say enough good things about being able to labor in the water. The difference between the contraction right before the tub and that first one in was amazing. It wasn't complete relief of course, but it took that crazy edge off the peak of it, making them MUCH easier to handle. I labored hands and knees in the water for awhile, that was the best position that kept my whole stomach under the water. As they kept pouring more water in the water level got higher and it got harder to stay hands and knees cause my face kept getting in the water. Around this time I started to feel a bit of a push at the peak of each contraction.
I switched positions so I was sitting up with my arms over the side of the tub to brace myself and shortly after I did this I really started pushing with each contraction. I hate to say "I" was pushing, because that implies that I made the conscious decision to do so and it absolutely was not. My body was completely overcome by each contraction and the push was just happening, there was nothing I could have done to stop it. Each one hits and as my body starts to push I start to involuntarily yell a deep guttural sound "Uhhhhhhh!" It actually really helped me put some focus into it. Through all of this I could hear Pia in the background telling me "Good, good Heidi! That's right, move that baby down.." Just to hear her encouragement felt so good to know things were moving along nicely and I was doing everything right.
(I don't even remember her doing this, but it just shows how wonderful and attentive she was)
At this point Pia asked me if I could feel her (cadie) moving down and I said, "No it feels like she's RIGHT THERE!" (At some point I had to get out of the pool in order to go pee also... I'm just not sure when, but it was right around here because it was right before pushing got SUPER intense.)
(trying to get a reading with the doppler)
They had been trying to get a read on Cadie's heart rate with me leaning over the side of the tub and were having trouble so they asked me (only 1 of 2 times they ever asked me to do ANYTHING while I was laboring) if I thought I could manage to roll over for a minute so they had better access to my belly. I managed to do this and Matt stayed behind me the whole time putting pressure on my back, basically holding me up in the water to do so. They got a read on her and she still sounded good. Since I was already in this position and I had said I felt her head RIGHT THERE Angy asked if she could check real quick to see where she was at. So Angy reached down and barely had to touch me before she said that Cadie's head was ready to go.
(Angy telling me how close Cadie's head was)
Matt asked me at that point if I wanted him to get in with me and I said "Yes! I need to lean on you!"
(apparently I had a contraction while he was trying to get in)
I'm sure it actually took him a few minutes but in my head it seems like he was instantly changed into his swim trunks and getting in the pool behind me. I remember feeling rather anxious that he HURRY THE HELL UP AND SIT DOWN because I had a contraction starting and Cadie was getting ready to crown.
(they turned the lights off at this point and were just using a flashlight to see 'down there'. Having the lights off was Wonderful!!!)
Again, it was probably longer than it seems in my head, but it seems in my head that the very next contraction her head was crowning. The only time I said anything about pain the whole time was just as her head crowned, I yelled "Oh my god that hurts!" And I hear Angy ( I think it was Angy...) say, "Yeah..." (for some reason this really sticks in my mind her saying, very matter of factly.. 'yeah...') and in my head I was like, 'ok then, let's do this'.
(me panting as her head was crowning)
As her head crowned and I yelled, then they told me to pant a little bit and let her head stretch me. I'm not sure how long the break between contractions lasted but in my head it's a very looong moment as I felt her head stretching me and the burn kind of lessened. Someone asked if I wanted to reach down and catch her and I managed to gasp out that I couldn't. I was bracing myself against the sides of the pool and if I let go to try and grab her I would have slipped. With Matt holding me I may not have, but at the time that's how it felt. The the push started again and her head was out and then her body (another "Ouch!") and there she was! They brought her up out of the water and put her on my stomach. I tried to pull her up a bit but her cord was a bit short so she was half stomach, half on my chest. It was 10:30pm, just 2 hours after Angy had arrived.
As soon as she was out, the pain was GONE. I don't just mean endorphins and oxytocin rushed in and made it all ok, I mean, it was really GONE. My body had accomplished its goal of birthing my baby and it was DONE.
When they put her on my chest it was just the most amazing feeling... I wanted to laugh and cry all at the same time.
("She's still a girl, right?!?!")
I couldn't believe she was really here! Cadie was yelling right away letting us know she was here. She cried for just a minute and then just laid with me, eyes wide open, taking everything in.
(Bliss.)
She even lifted her head up a few times trying to look around. At that point, while she was yelling, Victor was fussing cause he could hear her crying. I realize I haven't said much about him, but my mom was taking care of him, he was in the living room watching cartoons and playing Angry Birds on her IPad the whole time. I guess he would occasionally wander over and see what was going on and then go back to what he was doing. I was so thrilled because I had been so nervous about how he would handle it all, and he was sooo perfect! So when he heard her crying he started to fuss and my mom picked him up and brought him over to see.
We told him she was ok that she just needed milk. So he walks over to the fridge and pulls out the gallon of milk and tries to bring it to us!! We all about died laughing it was the cutest thing!
So we hung out in the tub for awhile until she was ready to nurse, which she did with no problems, like wow it was so easy (and still has been crazy easy), and then I delivered the placenta (little "ouch" there) and hung out some more.
(Ok, some people probably think this is gross, but I think it's cool. That's the placenta in the bowl, umbilical cord is still attached to it and to Cadie. The bowl just kind of floats there in the pool till we were ready to clamp and cut the cord. I thought it was cool.)
After awhile we were ready to get out, Cadie had nursed both sides and was quite calm so Pia clamped the cord and Matt actually cut it. He didn't want to cut Victor's cord and had said he didn't want to this time either. But he did :) I handed Cadie over to Pia for her newborn examination and we got out of the tub. Matt jumped out super fast and ran straight up to the shower. In his own words if you ask him about it he'll say, "it was awesome. Gross. but awesome." HA!
(Matt getting out. Immediately ran to shower.)
(I love that Victor is standing there watching what is going on very intently)
I stood up and felt fine, no lightheadedness or anything, I could just feel my stomach and stuff shifting back down since my uterus wasn't in the same spot anymore. They helped me get upstairs and settled in bed and it was just wonderful to be in my own bed.
They weighed and measured her: 8lbs, 15oz, (same as Victor!) 19 3/4 inches, (Victor was 21 inches). In case anyone is wondering, they did not bathe her. She actually had quite a bit of vernix still on her at birth. They rubbed her down gently, but no actual bath. She didn't get a bath till she was about a week old. We let all that vernix and stuff rub right in :)
And she looks just like Victor too! It's really crazy, it's like I had twins 2 years apart.
(Cadie on left, Victor on right at same age, ~ 2 days old)
But they took care of me, brought Cadie back and we nursed some more and more and more and did some more paper work and more newborn checks and then they checked me and I had to get up to pee and I got cleaned up... it's all kind of a blur. But it was just so wonderful to be in my own home with people I knew really well and was so comfortable with. Victor was sitting in bed with us and kept hugging me and cuddling up to me and looking at Cadie... it was just SO sweet.
(Daddy-daughter moment. love, love, love!)
When my mom was holding her at one point Victor walked up to her and held his arms out and says "hold her?"
So we got him up on the bed next to me and put her on his lap and we took out first family photo.
He was so proud of himself! It was so adorable to see them together like that. And then when everything was taken care of and Cadie and I were deemed totally healthy and doing great, we got tucked into bed and cuddled up and went to sleep. Right in our own bed. Amazing.
The whole experience was amazing. It was so comfortable and intense and overwhelming and just...freaking awesome. I can just remember the raw power of feeling my body take control. To feel what my body is truly capable of... It's an experience that I am so grateful to have had.
